The Internal Monologue of Someone Having a Panic Attack by Hannah Henrikson

panico

Oh my God. It’s happening again.

My hands are clammy. Why am I sweating? It’s 30 degrees outside.

It’s OK. You’re fine. You’re fine.

I’m not fine! I can’t think straight. There’s too many thoughts. My brain is so full of thoughts. They’re racing. They’re moving too fast. I can’t even separate them from one another.

Yes, you can. Try harder.

But what if I’m forgetting something important? What if I’m spacing on something I need to do? I must be missing something. I must have forgotten something, something important. Oh my God, I’m freaking out. I’m freaking out. Why am I freaking out? Why is this happening again?

Oh my God, I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. I’m going to die.

Yes, you can. You have control of your body. Concentrate on your breath. Slow down.

But I can’t breathe. My chest is tightening. I can’t breathe.

Yes, you can. Keep trying. You’ve got it.

No, I can’t. I can’t.

You’re still breathing, darling. Calm down. I need you to slow down.

No, I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe. I can’t get air in. I’m suffocating. I can’t feel my hands and feet. Oh my God, my throat is closing up. Will someone please help me? I can’t breathe!

Did I take my medicine? What if I didn’t take my medicine? Oh my God, what if I’m going “crazy?” I can’t be going crazy. No, I can’t be going crazy. But what if I am anyway? That’s it, I’m losing it. This is how it ends. I’m dying. I can’t breathe. I’m dying.

Do you hear me? You’re hyperventilating. Slow down. Slow down and please, just breathe.

Someone help me. I’m drowning. I can’t breathe. I must be drowning. I can’t feel anything. Why can’t I feel anything? Oh God, I’m dying. Somebody help me! Somebody please, for the love of God, help me. I’m dying. I’m dying. I can’t do this. I’m dying. Somebody help me, anybody, please.

You’re not dying, darling. But you need to slow down.

I’m dizzy. Everything’s spinning. My head hurts. Why does my head hurt? I must be dying. It’s too late. It must be too late. I can’t… I can’t… I can’t… I can’t even form thoughts. I can’t breathe… I can’t breathe…

I’ve got you. It’s OK. You’re safe. It’s OK. You’re OK. You’re not dying. You’re not dying. Do you hear me? You’re OK. I need you to stay with me. Please, stay with me. Come back here. Bring yourself back here. I know you can do it. You’re stronger than this.

You are strong, OK? Go to sleep, darling. You’re going to be all right. This too shall pass.

 

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Oficial Site: The Mighty

 

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